Cheesy vegetable bake
Mum really is astonishingly better these days. This afternoon we received our latest grocery delivery, and she actually helped put it away rather than just standing and staring at me while I did the work.
This is, obviously, fantastic news for mum and everyone who knows her, but it does make it difficult to convince myself that some of her actions are anything other than deliberate provocation.
See, for example, when I went to sit down after putting away the groceries (with help) and cleaning up the liquid that had leaked from a poorly-sealed pack of raw chicken (without help). Within a few seconds of my bum hitting the seat, mum was calling out “I can’t find my glasses, where are my glasses, WHERE ARE MY GLASSES?!”
Literally the moment I dragged myself upright: “oh, here they are, silly me!”
Or, earlier in the morning, expressing confusion over how to dress herself appropriately. I asked for a moment to safely put down my cup of coffee, only to be met with a whimper of “don’t you want to help me today?”
When I went into her room, mere seconds later, her clothes were all laid out and she didn’t really need any help. She was just pressing the metaphorical call button to check that I would come running.
Or, most egregiously of all, letting me know I had post then, when I didn’t immediately go to fetch it, opening it herself and declaring “I don’t think I want any of this. Do you want this gift you bought for yourself?”
I suppose I should be grateful that mum doesn’t have pierced ears and therefore didn’t feel like confiscating my hammered silver hoop earrings, but mostly I’m just quietly furious that she felt it was appropriate to open my post and let me have it only when she had decided it wasn’t something she wanted.
The psychiatrist yesterday told me that, in her expert opinion, dementia usually doesn’t cause drastic changes in behaviour until the very late stages of the disease.1 Before that, it simply highlights behavioural patterns that were already there, such as considering that no-one except themself deserves any kind of privacy. (To take an example purely at random, obviously.)
There is, however, a glimmer of hope on the horizon: I have another flat viewing on Friday! It’s a studio flat, so only a single room, but it looks a fairly decent size and is right in the centre of Newport so very convenient. The agent isn’t sure if the landlord accepts pets, but she’s a cat owner herself and is willing to try some strong persuasion if I like the flat enough to make an offer.
One benefit of it being a studio flat, and in Newport, is that the monthly rent is very reasonable. With a part-time job, when I get one, I could stretch my inheritance over a much longer period without facing the nightmare that is the UK benefits system. The only concern I have is where I would put my mobility scooter when I eventually get one. Does anyone know if you can use a parking permit for a mobility scooter?
For dinner I intended to do leeks in cheese sauce, only to realise I forgot to order any leeks. đ¤Ļââī¸ Instead I did mixed veg and sliced potatoes in cheese sauce, topped with more cheese. All things mum likes, but she took one look and decided she wasn’t hungry. I thought the veg was a bit undercooked, but the meal as a whole was delicious. Mum’s fussiness means I can have the rest for lunch tomorrow.
Now I have the rest of the evening to get through, with mum doubtless complaining that she’s hungry and there’s nothing to eat. If you never hear from me again, please check the local news for a story about someone being arrested for motherly bodily harm. It may well be a near thing, believe me.
- Generally speaking. Some forms of dementia do cause changes to personality and/or behaviour, but these are the exception. âŠī¸
