Tempura carrot wedges, veg stirfry, basmati and wild rice

Mum was in major fidget mode today, which wouldn’t be an issue except she insisted on fidgeting at me. It is supremely irritating to have someone tidying your room around and over you when you’re trying to read your book in peace.

Thankfully, she managed to sit still long enough for the psychiatrist consultation, which was very helpful: unlike the doctor who first diagnosed mum, who did so sight-unseen, based on an MRI and a questionnaire, this one talked directly to mum, asked questions, and actually listened to the answers.

The outcome is that mum isn’t going back on the donepezil – hooray! – and isn’t going on anything else as the second option can cause seizures in those predisposed to them, and mum has a history of epilepsy. As the psychiatrist said, sometimes the risks outweigh any possible benefits.

The diagnosis of Alzheimer’s has been revoked, and replaced with ‘dementia (unknown cause)’. My own theory is that the drug mum has been taking for epilepsy for over 50 years is the most likely cause: that particular medication is no longer prescribed to new patients as it is associated with degenerative cognitive conditions when taken long term. This can’t be proved, of course, but the psychiatrist was sufficiently convinced by my argument (and, to be fair, her own prior knowledge of the link) that she is going to recommend the GP consider whether there are benefits to keeping mum on the epilepsy drug. She hasn’t had a seizure since I was a baby, so it may well no longer be needed, but I am happy to leave that to more medically-educated brains than mine.

Towards the end of the call, mum and Lady Friday went out, leaving me to finish the call. I mentioned to the psychiatrist, for mum’s records, that I am working on moving out, and the psychiatrist said that she thought this would be best for me. She also recommended leaning on my Admiral Nurse for support as the transition might be more emotionally difficult for me than I am anticipating.

I can see why the waiting list to see / speak to this psychiatrist is so long: she really is excellent, and so supportive not just to mum but also to me as mum’s carer.

On the subject of moving out: I have now made enquiries about 22 flats / bungalows, viewed 3, and still haven’t found one that’s suitable. I did call the Housing Department at the council today to find out why I’m not eligible to bid on any properties, and it turned out to be a simple tickbox on my profile that someone had missed. It has now been ticked, and I can bid as soon as a suitable property comes up. Of course, unless I can get moved to a higher band, I’m very unlikely to get anywhere I bid on, so my main task tomorrow is to start gathering evidence to write my appeal.

For today, I as usual finished by cooking dinner. Mum enjoyed the tempura carrots (who doesn’t enjoy things in crispy batter?), but accepted only a small amount of rice. Two teaspoons of rice, in fact, delicately sprinkled over her veg. I have never seen anyone use rice as a garnish before.

And so to the usual tv and then bed. I hope that, at some point, mum will stop fidgeting around and settle down. I really hope it’s some point very soon!