Red pepper tortilla, crispy potato slices, salad

Mum has has a bad day today, which means I’ve had a bad day. Doors were slammed, accusations were thrown, guilts were tripped: in short, mum has been utterly vile to me.

Late afternoon, Lady Friday arrived, and her influence persuaded mum to get out of bed, put on shoes, and go for a walk. Thanks to a whispered conversation while mum was putting her shoes on, Lady Friday kept mum out for nearly an hour. I sat on my bed, listened to music, stroked Suki, and generally came back to feeling human.

I have a very detailed picture in my head of where I would like to live – a flat in a converted Georgian house, with lots of lovely period features but a modern, accessible kitchen and bathroom, surrounded by managed gardens – but honestly I will settle for a bedsit beside the bus station if it gets me more peaceful time with music and my cat.

Eventually mum came back, all smiles. She came into my room, gave me a hug, and asked slightly tentatively if we were OK. I responded that we were except when she was being vile to me, which she didn’t even try to deny.

Usually any attempt to hold mum to account for her bad behaviour ends up with mum crying, claiming not to remember what she’s done, which provokes sympathy and “you forgive her don’t you?” to me. Maybe because she didn’t have an audience this time, she just said “yes, well, I was feeling terrible”. What she didn’t do was apologise.

This evening mum is far more bearable, thank goodness. I am still desperately longing for bedtime to come around, for the chance to carefully fit myself around Suki on the bed – because she runs away from mum, but won’t budge over even an inch to allow me to lie down in my bed – and listen to her purr.

Soon, Suki-puss. Soon.