Jacket potato with cheese and roasted veg

So today was my meeting with the local domestic abuse organisation.  For most of the day I thought I wouldn’t get there, as yesterday’s lack of taxis continued to be a problem. Then the rep I was meeting suggested she could pick me up, and hope returned.

I wasn’t expecting them to fix my situation in one meeting, but I was hoping they had resources that could help me get out, find a new place to live, and start building my own life.

In a word: no.

The rep apologised that I had apparently been misinformed on what they can do for me, but they can’t do any of that.

If I genuinely feel physically unsafe, they can arrange for me to go to a refuge, but it won’t be on the Island, and I couldn’t take Suki with me.

I could contact the Council and tell them I’m homeless because of domestic abuse, but I would end up in a B&B that isn’t suitable for someone with a physical disability and, again, I couldn’t take Suki with me.

I could look to rent a place privately, but the rep couldn’t suggest any way around the issue that I can’t demonstrate stable finances because I can’t get a job, and I can’t get a job until I have somewhere else to live.

All the rep could recommend was that suggest was that I try setting boundaries with mum, starting with shutting her out of my room for 5 minutes and ignoring whatever tears, threats, or other bad behaviour follows. I agreed to try it, but am already dreading the response given that mum said she wanted to shoot herself this morning when I told her I couldn’t magically fix her tooth pain.

So that was all very disappointing, and I’m still feeling pretty low as a result. Mum has been cheerful and good-humoured all evening following an outing with Lady Friday, and I am struggling not to be grumpy with her.

For dinner I did one of mum’s favourites, jacket potatoes with Mediterranean veg. Then we had a Tesco Finest peach and passionfruit trifle, which is so delicious that I had to shut the rest of it away in the fridge to stop myself finishing it off.

Now it’s the usual tv, which I have to pretend not to be interested in so mum won’t talk over it deliberately to stop me enjoying it. This is my life, and I don’t know how I’m going to improve it. 🤷‍♂️