Gnocchi and green veg with parmesan butter

Short and sweet tonight, I’m afraid, as burnout is setting in hard and I’ve been feeling decidedly tired and unwell recently.

Mum went to church yesterday, although not without a last minute “why are you making me go? I’m quite happy here.”

In the afternoon the dementia crisis nurse came round again, two hours after she said she would be here, which I wouldn’t mind if she had called to let me know. But she didn’t, so I had a couple of hours of “when is the person coming? She won’t hurt me, will she? When did you say she would be here?”

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This morning I went out to meet with a friend, which mum took surprisingly calmly. In fact, after three days of socialisation in a row, mum was much brighter and more cheerful today. Which isn’t to say that she left me in peace and didn’t want me running around after her all day, because she did, but at least it was without the constant threat of a major meltdown.

I received an email from the domestic abuse organisation, asking what they can do for me, and a telephone call from the Dementia Outreach Team telling me they want to up mum’s daily dose of antidepressants. I agreed, because why not, but did tell them the antidepressant dose that mum is currently taking doesn’t seem to make any difference to her anxiety. We’ll just have to see how we go, I guess.

This afternoon mum went out for a walk with a friend, having spent the previous hour standing over me insisting she didn’t want to go outside because it was too hot. I sent the email asking for a secind opinion on mum’s diagnosis, then spent a happy 40 minutes or so being very bad at a multiplayer game online.

Then I cleaned a dirty mark off the kitchen floor – mum couldn’t do it because… idk why, except that she prefers to get me to do these things – then cooked dinner. It’s just a bag of pre-made potato gnocchi, some green veg, some butter, and a load of grated parmesan. It was OK.

Now the usual evening of tv, mum eating every sweet thing she can find despite regularly complaining about having put on weight recently (I can’t imagine why), then Suki squeaking at me every time I start to doze off. Then tomorrow I get to do it all again.