Stuffed pepper, sunblush tomato flatbread, salad

Today started as all days recently have started, with mum languishing in bed with a headache, a stomachache, an “I feel sick”. She refused food, would drink only enough water to take painkillers, and generally seemed to be extremely unwell.

Eventually I could bear it no longer, and told her I was calling for medical assistance.

“Please don’t,” said mum, “I don’t want them to take me away”.

I assured mum that I would insist treatment was given at home, but she really did need help from a professional.

“Please don’t,” said mum, “I’ll get up now. I was only messing around anyway.”

And she did get up, washed and dressed, and went to make herself a cup of tea. She seemed perfectly cheerful, as if the past few days of crisis had never happened.

I know there was probably more than a touch of bravado in her performance, but there can be little doubt that mum was indeed ‘messing around’. When I think of the energy and concern I have expended, how exhausted I have made myself trying to help mum, only to discover she was, at least in part, faking for attention… Furious doesn’t begin to cover it.

Mum obviously realised she had gone too far, as she has since apologised several times for “being horrible to [me]”. I am trying to be the bigger person, and a calm, non-furious carer, but I can’t pretend I haven’t been rather cooler to her for much of the day.

One small mercy is that I didn’t need to contact the Mental Health Crisis team, as the web address the GP sent me has been hijacked, and now leads to a gambling site. I’ll let them know on Monday, when I have recovered from today’s bombshell.

---

We had groceries delivered today, so dinner was easy: stuffed peppers (which mum used to like, but they’ve upped the spice level so she didn’t finish hers tonight – that’s another old reliable gone from my list), sunblush tomato and garlic flatbread, and salad.

Then we had double chocolate sundaes (very highly recommended, on the rare occasion I actually get one before mum eats them all) while watching Arthur Fery win at Wimbledon (🇬🇧), and that was today.

Tomorrow might be better. Please let tomorrow be better.