Southern-spiced sausages with noodles
First, an encore from last night, after I hit publish: at around the time mum usuallly wants to repeat to her room, QI (a long-running quiz show) came on tv. Mum saw the host, Sandi Toksvig, and said “I can’t stand this woman”. As Ms Toksvig is one of my heroes1, I just said mildly “I like her”.
Mum changed her mind and said she would like to watch the programme after all. Then, realising I was actually watching it – rather than sitting beside her working on my phone as I usually do – went to get her phone and started watching videos on Facebook, at full volume. I decided I was all out of both spoons and patience, and retreated to my room.
Well, you would have thought I had stolen her wedding ring or something similarly terrible. There were tears, and shouting, and “I don’t know what I’m supposed to have done wrong”. I somehow ended up being the villain of the piece, and apologising to mum for my crime of not being able to hear the tv over Biffy Clyro2.
I just wasn’t going to win yesterday.
Today has, thankfully, been better, mum’s attitude-wise, at least.
I couldn’t coordinate a dentist appointment to fit with mum’s friend’s limited availability, but another friend (the only other friend, really) has kindly stepped up. I won’t pretend I didn’t have a short period of despair until the friend responded to say she could help: if no-one else could go with mum, I would have to accompany her, and another panic attack would almost certainly follow.
I know we need to expand our social circle so I have more than two people I can ask for help, and I have been trying to do that. Most of the people from mum’s church apparently don’t drive, which is fair enough – neither do I – but that does make seeing them rather difficult. One talked to mum on Sunday about meeting for coffee with him and his wife, who also has dementia, but I have no way of contacting them so I don’t know if that will come to anything.
I’m happy to pay for companionship – sad but true – but the organisation recommended by Carers IW has no availability in our area. I’m going to have to try another option, but employing a PA directly, with the legal and financial responsibility that entails, isn’t something I’m inclined to do. Lady Friday’s employer doesn’t seem inclined to respond to requests to do… well, anything, really, but particularly not responding to requests for additional assistance.
And so I struggle on alone, although knowing y’all are out there, willing to read my ramblings, really does help.
Dinner was the rest of the pack of chipolatas from last night, with green beans from the freezer (“we’ve had these green things a lot recently” said mum, meaning I need to find a different vegetable before mum decides she doesn’t like them anymore), and some of the spices from a Simply Cook kit (Louisiana linguine, if you’re interested), with wholewheat noodles. Mum didn’t dislike noodles today, so it went down well.
Then we had some of the cake from yesterday – coffee cake mix from a box (Betty Crocker brand, and really very good for a processed cake mix) with added roasted pecans and 85% dark chocolate. Now I have mum repeatedly saying “it will be OK, won’t it?” while I try not to show my impatience at answering the same question 10 times an hour. At least there’s a Suki, purring on the arm of the sofa, soon to be disappointed that mum will choose a repeat of The Repair Shop over Springwatch.
No little birds for you to watch with big eyes tonight, Suki-puss. Sorry, baby girl.
Is it pineapple sponge today? 