Fish finger baguette

Woken at 7.34am by a well-rounded tabby cat sharpening her claws on the arm of the sofa, eyes fixed on me so she could see the moment I woke up and start begging for breakfast. As I headed back from the kitchen – because of course Suki got food on demand – mum called “am I allowed to go back to sleep?”

I assured her that that was precisely what I intended to do, and did so. I note with strained patience that if mum wakes up late because I’ve woken up late, it’s my fault. If mum wakes up late but I wake up early, it’s my fault. If mum wakes up early, she then goes back to bed anyway.

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As I was making myself my second cup of coffee of the day, mum came into the kitchen complaining that the Bonjela was making her sore.

“Your mouth is sore?”

“No, down there.”

Mum has been putting mouth ulcer gel on her private areas. 😱🤦‍♂️

After a moment of total blankness, I gently corrected mum. “Oh yes, it does say for mouth ulcers, silly me,” said mum.

I didn’t feel there was much I could say to that, so simply put the Bonjela away in the bathroom cupboard, where it is hopefully safe from further inappropriate usage.

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This afternoon Lady Friday came for her weekly visit, sending mum into her usual spiral of anxiety. She paced around the house, changed her clothes three times – ending up back in the outfit she started in – asking repeatedly “how long until she gets here?”

It took all my patience not to reply “about 40 seconds less than when you last asked, mum”.

With Lady Friday present, I got two hours of peace. Lol, no, of course I didn’t: Lady Friday has started referring to me as ‘backroom Google’ for my timely responses to the various questions shouted in my direction.

I did manage to get my long-delayed therapy appointment. I’m not sure how much actual therapising got done, but I did make my therapist cry with laughter twice. I am glad that everything that’s happening to me at least makes for good content, both for conversations and for blog posts.

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For dinner I made myself a generous and delicious fish finger baguette. Mum continued her “I hate fish fingers” stance, so I cooked her a lamb burger and a microwave jacket potato. I definitely think I got the better side of that deal.

And so to the end of another week. Have a lovely Friday evening, everyone. If you have any random questions, please don’t hesitate to direct them to anyone other than me.