Risotto-stuffed pepper, garlic flatbread, salad

There is no such thing as a quiet moment: as soon as you start to relax, the care-ee appears with a question, a random observation, or simply because that’s where their feet have taken them.

The same goes for privacy: you won’t get any.

You will get very good at guessing words from vague hints and hand-waving, and will quickly adopt the habit of adding in the word at the first sign that it has gone missing, to keep conversations flowing and avoid the dreaded “I’ve forgotten what I was saying”.

Sometimes when you do it you will find that you have mistaken a natural pause for the start of a word search. You will be informed of your error in no uncertain terms.

On the plus side, you will be greatly sought after as a teammate for any game of charades.

Analogue clocks are an important measure of your (or at least my) care-ee’s mental capacity on any given day. In decreasing order of good day to bad day:

  • reading the time off it in the standard fashion (“it’s nine thirty”)
  • reading the time in a non-standard fashion (“it’s nine and six”)
  • reading the time but confusing numbers and letters (“it’s a nine and a g”)
  • looking at the clock and knowing it’s for telling the time, but not remembering how to do so
  • “what is that round thing for again?”

You will have the same conversation so many times you’ll start doubting your own memory, particularly when you find yourself losing the word you needed to finish the… umm… section of writing.


Paragraph, that’s the badger.1


Dinner was risotto-stuffed peppers, from Tesco, which we have had before and enjoyed: mum, of course, didn’t remember trying them before and was pleasantly surprised. There was a bit more chilli in them this time, though, and it made her nose run, which perplexed her somewhat.

Afterwards she had a choc-nut ice cream cone, as her favourite coffee ice cream was (is) in the outside freezer and she couldn’t be bothered to go out and get it. I had chocolate caramel cake with chocolate caramel ice cream, and mum didn’t even comment on the fact I was eating a sweet treat, which made me wonder: if your mum doesn’t pass judgement on what you’re eating, did you even eat it?


And, with that, I’m all mused out. I’ll see you tomorrow, as always.


  1. One of my sister’s phrases, that I still find myself using despite not quite understanding what it means. ↩︎

One response to “Musings of a carer”

  1. Patricia Potts Avatar
    Patricia Potts

    Oh can so relate after looking after my mum for 15 years starting with early onset dementia along with being primary carer to teenaged son with autism and intellectual disability and a hubby who worked some weird shift works.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment