Cottage pie, mixed veg and gravy; spotted dick and custard

In which a member of RMHP from outside the UK comes across ‘spotted dick’ for the first time, to the mutual amusement of all concerned. (I write these reviews on my phone, for lack of any other option while in the care home, and it keeps autocorrecting ‘dick’ to ‘duck’; apologies if I miss changing one back, and please be assured no ducks, spotted or otherwise, were harmed in the writing of this review.¹)

This will be a fairly short review (genuinely so, for once) because what with phone calls, and physio visits, and more phone calls, it’s not long since I finished the review from last night and, much as I enjoy doing this, you can have too much of a good thing.

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For a very long time – practically my entire life – I have been convinced that I hate cottage pie, so I admit that when I saw it on the menu this morning I reflexively cringed.

Then I remembered that I tried it while in St Mary’s, for the sake of content and challenging myself to try new things, and quite liked it, so I ordered it for lunch, without extra potatoes but with whatever veg they were serving.

I will say that it was a fairly small piece of cottage pie and that’s at least partly on me: I was told to ask the HCAs to remind the kitchen staff that I need bigger portions, and I forgot to do so. The lack of pie was more than compensated for by the quantity of gravy, however. It was decent gravy, if a bit overly salted, but it was too highly flavoured for this purpose and it just smothered the pie (physically and in terms of taste). What I could taste of the meat filling (carefully digging some out of the centre of the pie, to minimise its contact with the gravy – I take this reviewing thing quite seriously, at least some of the time) was very good, with a nice meaty savouriness, but mostly it was all just one flavour, and that flavour was gravy.

The accompanying veg was the mixed stuff from the freezer again but, in a shock plot twist, this time there were TWO broad beans!

Spotted dick and custard for pudding, which made me realise I can’t remember the last time I had this classic British pudding. (As I mentioned on the RMHP group, for readers outside the UK: ‘dick’ in this context is an old dialect word for ‘dough’ and not at all something anyone in the UK sniggers at. Honestly we don’t. 🤭)

This pudding had a scent that instantly made me think of Christmas – I guess it’s the mixed spice – and was fluffy, light but not so light it fell apart, beautifully spiced and full of dried fruit, and just generally delicious. I was thoroughly intending to ask for seconds as it was, again, a rather small portion, but then the fire alarm went off, there was a lot of clattering and raised voices from downstairs as my bedroom door automatically closed itself, and the moment was rather lost².

So I ate a banana instead, from the impressive stash of fresh fruit brought to the home for me by Hannah Bagnall (thank you so much – you’re a star) which was much healthier for me. A very nice banana it was, too, at the perfect point of ripeness for my taste, and I will almost certainly have another one later.

Scores:

• Cottage pie: 6/10 – it may well have got more if I could taste it under all that gravy, but I couldn’t, really.
• Gravy: 6/10 – it may well have got more with a different dish, but it was just too powerful here.
• Mixed veg: 6/10 – bonus point for the extra broadbean.
• Spotted dick: 8/10 – very nice indeed, but I needed more of it.
• Overall: 6.5/10

Tonight’s supper special is ‘seasoned fries’ which, last time, were unseasoned oven chips. As I now have my own seasonings, I’m quite looking forward to them. Although if there’s any spotted dick left in the kitchen in need of a stomach to call home, I would be happy to accept it.

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1. I nearly gave this review the title “No ducks given”. I’m still thinking maybe I should have done, but here – 🦆 – I have now given at least one duck. ↩︎
2. I gather from the lack of smoke, hunky firefighters (of any gender – I’m very equal opportunities in my admiring of attractive people in uniform), and general panic that it was a false alarm, but it would have been nice to get some reassurance on that point. Just a friendly suggestion, anyone from the care home who’s reading this. ↩︎