Bacon sandwich, unknown green soup, crisps, yoghurt

A short while ago, as I was about to settle in for supper and a YouTube video or two, there was a crash from somewhere outside my room, as of someone dropping something heavy, and my bathroom light went out.

There were a few more heavy-sounding noises, and my light flashed on, and off, on-off-on-off (I wonder now, far too late, if it was trying to send me a message in Morse code), before finally settling back to ‘on’ as if nothing had happened. I mentally composed this introduction to my review, opened up my web browser to note it down, and found the care home’s wifi wasn’t at home.

Obviously it came back, because you’re reading this, but were these things connected, or was it just coincidence that they all happened at the same time? I have no way of knowing, because getting up to investigate (which I would totally do normally, being naturally inclined to curiosity (or nosiness, if you’re feeling less charitable)) is currently beyond my abilities. I hate this and can’t wait for my legs to be back in some semblance of working order.

Which is a long-winded and roundabout way of explaining why today’s physio session lasted less than ten minutes and ended with me being instructed to sit down, stop trying to do so much so soon, and give my poor muscles a chance to recover. Patience having never been a strong point of my character, I very much doubt this will be the last time they have to tell me this.

All of which has precisely nothing to do with the headline mystery: the mystery being what flavour it was meant to be.

It’s not obvious under the artificial lighting but this stuff was green, an almost luminous shade which could have had its origins in peas, or asparagus, or… heck, lightly roasted Martian for all I know. (If I had to guess, I would say asparagus, due to the occasional stringy bit, but I could well be wrong and I wasn’t about to make the job of the new member of staff landed with trolley duty more difficult by asking questions she almost certainly wouldn’t know the answers to.)

To accompany it was tonight’s supper special, a bacon sandwich. (No vegetarian alternative, adding to my suspicions that vegetarians aren’t exactly well represented in this home.)

It wasn’t the best bacon sandwich I have ever had – cheap sliced white bread; two, maybe three, rashers of somewhat rubbery bacon, which I suspect had been cooked earlier and either kept warm or zapped in the microwave to order; no sauce (tbf I didn’t ask for any, but neither was any offered); but, given an overheard staff conversation that they were running low on bacon, having under-estimated the demand, I was relieved that I got to have one at all. Which was either a masterstroke of people management, or yet another in a series of strange coincidences.

And that that brings us neatly (sort of) back to where I started really is a coincidence!

Scores:

• Mystery green soup: 7/10 – nice enough, whatever it was.
• Bacon sandwich: 7/10 – even not very good bacon is still bacon.
• Overall (thank goodness for easy maths tonight): 7/10.

Which leaves only the most difficult part of any review for me, working out how to end it.

So, umm… see y’all tomorrow? 🤷‍♂️