Coconut prawn curry with coconut rice

Today started off very badly. Mum was in so much pain that she could barely move. She was crying and shaking, repeatedly asking for reassurance that she wasn’t doing something ‘wrong’ to cause her pain.

There can be few worse feelings than seeing the person you are responsible for in pain and being unable to help. I kept telling her that the GP would call back and help soon, that I knew she was in pain and was doing everything I could to help her.

Finally… I’m not sure how to put this delicately, but… the constipation situation resolved itself. Explosively and painfully, but mum felt better almost instantly. Of course it was shortly after this, when mum’s pain had eased and she finally felt well enough to eat something, that the practice nurse called back.

She was at least familiar with lichen sclerosus and how painful it can be, and said that I should call back on Monday if mum continues to be in a lot of pain. I very much hope she continues to feel better, as it could be a very long weekend if she doesn’t.

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This afternoon the respite carer, who I shall henceforth refer to as Lady Friday, came round and sat with mum while I sneaked off to start reading the materials I ordered from Alzheimer’s UK. They are quite explicit on the importance of asking for and accepting help from family and friends, but say little about what to do if you are pretty much on your own.

[On which topic, after over a year I have finally reached the head of the queue for NHS therapy. I now need to work out how to either get mum out of the house, or find somewhere private I can get to where I can talk freely. I’m almost tempted to cancel as an easier option than working this out, but I know that’s just exhaustion talking.]

Then I did half an hour or so of studying a free Open University course about mental capacity, interspersed by the occasional question shouted from the living room where mum and Lady Friday were looking through mum’s photos.

The questions went along the pattern of:

• “What was his name?”
• “What was whose name?”
• “Your sister’s man.”
• [I give his name.]

Two minutes later:

• “What was his name again?”
• [I give my BIL’s name.]
• “No – the cat.” (With a strong unspoken hint of “you idiot”.)

Caring is a thankless job sometimes.

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For dinner I made a coconut prawn curry. I used half the recommended amount of curry paste to make it mild enough for mum, and she ate it without complaint so I think I got it about right.

Then I ate Ben and Jerry’s caramel brownie ice cream, which is an occasional treat as I can’t seem to stop myself eating it until the tub is empty, even knowing what the effects on my digestive system will be. 🤢

And with that, goodnight.