Aubergine parmigiana and crusty bread

Today was the long awaited (and dreaded) day when we finally got a proper diagnosis of the condition causing mum’s memory problems.

The diagnosis is Alzheimers, which genuinely surprised me: from the symptoms mum has been experiencing, I was expecting another type of dementia to be named. The appointment was short, and mum spent it looking blank and turning to me every time she was asked a direct question.

I wasn’t sure that she had really taken in what was discussed until I reminded her of her next appointment of the day, with the mental health team, to which she responded “they’re not going to tell me something else I don’t want to know, are they?”

The mental health appointment went much the same way, with mum sitting, looking blank as we discussed her recent mental health struggles. Some of that lack of engagement can be put down to the headache which, as usual, has plagued her all day, along with urinary symptoms which, to use mum’s favourite phrase, were driving her nuts.

It seems to me that Mum is stuck in a vicious circle of memory problems making her anxious, anxiety causing unpleasant physical symptoms, and the symptoms making her more anxious. There has to be some way of interrupting that circle, but it’s made more difficult by mum’s refusal to engage: if I can’t do it for her, she doesn’t want to know.

Anyway, now mum is in the system for both Alzheimers and mental health treatment, and she’s eligible for support with both. She will also get more meds, to slow the progress of the Alzheimers, which she isn’t happy about: she thinks she takes too many tablets already, even when I point out that I take far more. This evening I introduced her to the vitamin D mouth-spray the health visitor yesterday recommended, and she said “do I have to?” After spraying it into her cheek as instructed, she admitted it “wasn’t too bad”.

This afternoon I got our household added to the water company’s priority list as being vulnerable, and arranged for someone to come round later in the week to fix our broken wall light. I’m very glad that the second person I contacted offered to do it for a decent price, as the first one offered me a discount if I paid in cash so he didn’t have to pay tax on it.

I don’t much mind someone like that dodging a bit of tax – that’s between him and HMRC – but I do question his judgement in announcing his intention to do so to a complete stranger.

Dinner was meant to be a curry, but mum hadn’t eaten much so I decided to change it to something she would enjoy. This slightly lazy version of aubergine parmigiana went down well, which is good as I plan to work it into a recipe for the cookbook so will need to do it at least a couple more times to make sure it works properly.

Tomorrow I will need to call the GP practice to discuss another aspect of mum’s health that’s causing her distress, and try to find someone to sort out our slow-running household drains, as the house seems to have decided it needs my attention too.

From one very weary carer and blogger, goodnight.