(Because I’ve lost it.)

Haddock goujons, salt and pepper fries, sweet and hot veg

The first part of this post is just a repeat of something I posted on Facebook earlier so, if you have already read it, you can skip to the rest of today’s disasters content.

Woken this morning by my phone: the nurse was on his way for mum’s blood-taking appointment. Which was a surprise as, the last I heard, they needed more information from me in order for it to go ahead. This is better, though, as this way we get a result quicker, right?

So I tell mum and – omg, the drama. This is her house, she doesn’t want these people here. She cries. I ask her to drink some water, as the nurse requested. She refuses. She tells me to send the nurse away when he arrives – she doesn’t want to see him.

I admit it – I lose my temper. I tell her that I’ll send him away but, if I do, I don’t want to hear another word from her about being in pain. That she keeps doing this: complaining she’s in pain, complaining I’m not helping, then complaining when I do try to help.

Of course, when the nurse arrives, she’s nice as pie to him, complaining only that his hands are cold. She calls him “a nice man” and sends him on his way with an affectionate pat on his shoulder.

Now he’s gone, and she’s complaining and crying that she’s in pain and can’t I do something?

No. I just can’t. I’m all out of ‘can’. 😫

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The day didn’t get better from there.

Having got herself so worked up, mum spent most of the rest of the day with pain in her head, pain in her stomach, and urinary symptoms – all the things that are caused by anxiety / stress, which mum insists she doesn’t have. She went back to bed, occasionally calling out to me in her most pathetic little old lady voice (which I detest) that she was sorry she couldn’t help me but she felt so ill. My response, that I was reading and didn’t need her help, was apparently the wrong one. (I knew that wasn’t what she meant, but I can be awkward too.)

Eventually mum emerged and we watched the usual run of afternoon quiz shows together: Tenable, Tipping Point, The Chase. The last is my favourite, but I generally only get to watch the first 10 minutes before I have to start on dinner.

By the time I did so today I was already exhausted – more mentally than physically, but physically enough that I was starting to get shaky and weak. Shaky enough that I knocked over a jar of spice, which smashed on the floor, and weak enough that my knees kept going while I tried to sweep up.

Thankfully, mum came to help, and it seemed to cheer her up, I guess because it meant a brief return to the old roles of mum clearing up after child, when we spend far too much time with the roles reversed these days.

The meal, from a Simply Cook recipe box marked as medium spiced, was spicy enough that it made my nose run, even though I used only half of each spice pot and diluted down the chilli sauce as far as I could. Unsurprisingly it was too much for mum, although she made a good faith effort to eat it.

Afterwards she asked for coffee ice cream and I couldn’t refuse (not that I generally refuse – she’s an adult, and can eat ice cream if she wants to). I might have the last blueberry Magnum shortly, in the name of emptying the freezer so we can defrost it. In all likelihood I will then add some to the next grocery order, though – but if you don’t mention it, I won’t. 😉