Veggie nasi goreng

I’ve been having a bit of down day today. I’m so tired, and the constant pain is really starting to wear on me: while I enjoyed my conversation with the doctor yesterday, hearing that there is almost certainly no cure for my condition and all I can do is learn to live with it was rather dispiriting.

I find it so frustrating that a person can experience such a major change in their life and get no support: I was dropped home from hospital with a few bits of medical-adjacent equipment and basically left to get on with it.

And then I remind myself that so many people have much worse problems and I’m just feeling sorry for myself because I’m so tired.

Mum has been having a bad day, too. She overheard me arranging a car to the hospital on Friday for her next appointment (for an MRI scan), and her instant reaction of “I don’t want to” made her ongoing medical issues worse. The worst thing is that I have no idea of what to suggest to ease her pain. She gets snippy with me because I’m not helping, and I get snippy with her because I’m trying to help, and then we both have to search the house because mum put away one potential source of relief I bought her and can’t remember where.

All I want is to make her feel better. And to sleep for 14 hours and not have to get up to deal with a caring problem. 😭

Anyway: dinner was nasi goreng (Indonesian fried rice), using spices from Simply Cook. It should have been really quick and easy to cook, except the egg that I cracked into the pan imploded and showered bits of shell everywhere (note to self: crack the egg into a bowl first, to avoid shell-based emergencies).

Once de-shelled, dinner was served. Mum took one bite and declared it “a bit too hot”, but promised to do her best with it. A short while later I glanced up to see her scraping the last few grains of rice from her empty bowl, with the meal receiving the final grade of “quite nice, actually”.

After a day like today, I’ll take that.