Mushroom stroganoff with pasta

(Which I promise tasted better than it looks!)

Today started with an awakening that was later than it felt: I could have sworn it was the early hours when mum knocked on my door, tears in her eyes, and said “I’m scared of everything and I don’t know why”.

If you’ve never had anxiety, that is as good a summary as you’ll get about how it feels.

A long hug and some reassuring murmurs later, mum went back to bed and I checked the time on my phone, and was very surprised to find it was nearly 9am. I figured I might as well stay awake, which is why I’m now blinking sleepily at my phone screen.

The rest of the day passed quickly and quietly. Mum still felt anxious and quite low, but for once was aware that it was just her brain playing tricks on her and forced herself to get up. She spent most of the morning playing mahjong on her kindle, while I had a shower, ate breakfast, took my many tablets, and collapsed on the bed with a (kindle) book to recover from the effort.

In the afternoon I watched the athletics, including the most startled winner I’ve ever seen (Charlie Dobson, who looked genuinely shocked when he discovered he’d crossed the line first), then cooked a Simply Cook mushroom stroganoff. Mum was fairly enthusiastic about trying it when I suggested it, but was less keen when faced with actually eating it.

She assured me it was OK, but didn’t finish the small-ish portion she served herself. She told me she just didn’t have much appetite, which is true but apparently doesn’t apply to coffee ice cream. 🤭

Tomorrow she plans to go to the post-service coffee time at the church, but has done a fair amount of panicking about it despite my efforts to teach her some of the anxiety reducing techniques I’ve learned in my many sessions of therapy. At least I can say I tried.