Supper trolley – now with fries!

* It’s from a Foo Fighters song, in case you’re wondering if I’ve gone completely mad. Madder than usual, anyway.

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Today I have mostly been on the phone. So. Many. Phone calls. Calls made, calls received, calls refused only for them to try again…¹ So what do I do when the calls are finally finished? Pick up my phone to write a food review, of course!

Somewhere between all those phone calls I found time for walking practice with one of the physios. Having walked without really thinking about the process for most of my life, it’s a strange and humbling experience having to learn how to do it again, and I was only without the use of my legs for a few weeks: how someone who has lost the ability for months or years goes about the process is a source of quiet awe to me.

Today, with the aid of a new rolater (wheeled walking frame) that a) was a better height for me and b) didn’t fall apart in the physio’s hands when he tried to adjust it, I walked from my chair, six or seven shuffling steps, to another chair in front of the telly (“small steps -try to keep your feet further apart – not too fast – don’t step so close to the frame – keep your head up – don’t let your knees wobble… do you need to sit down?” 😬) then, after a good sit down, six or seven shuffling steps back, a 180° pirouette (or, more accurately, a shuffling sort of dance around the walker), and with deep gratitude back into my chair.

It was the furthest I have walked in over two months, and I haven’t even made it to the door of my room yet. And I’m exhausted!

I was also hungry, so was really looking forward to the ‘seasoned fries’ listed on the menu: probably foolishly, I was picturing a small mountain of thin-cut potatoes, rustling and golden, hot from the fryer, seasoned with a mild but flavourful spice mix, to be dipped in mayo, ketchup, and/or hot sauce and crunchily consumed. (My runaway imagination may or may not have included a hot, juicy cheeseburger alongside them, although I knew that bit wasn’t going to happen. )

Well, they’re potatoes. Not too bad on the golden and crispy front – there were some smaller fragments under there that were properly crunchy – but not seasoned at all, even with salt. A dig through what remains of my hospital stash turned up a tiny packet of black pepper and a pat of butter. I added both, swirled them around the bowl, and watched with measured disappointment as the butter stayed on top, as the chips had cooled too much on their way to me for it to melt, while the pepper all fell to the bottom of the bowl without troubling itself with the chips in the way.

The ketchup was nice, as ketchup always is.

As was the soup: labelled courgette tonight, but with the same creamy, vaguely curryish flavour as the soups served the previous two nights: I like the flavour a lot, but I’m starting to see why other residents might not regularly partake of soup that always tastes pretty much the same regardless of its stated ingredients.

Sandwiches tonight were courtesy of someone who believes in fillings, thankfully, after last night’s sad “is there actually anything between these two slices of bread?” offerings. Two egg mayo, one ham and lettuce, one cheese and pickle (grated cheddar and pickle mixed together, which ensures you get a good amount of both in every bite, and the pickle stops the grated cheese from escaping its bready confines – it’s a work of minor genius and I’m never making a cheese and pickle sandwich any other way again).

Crisps (yes, crisps AND chips, because I didn’t think that one through), the apple left from lunchtime, and a strawberry yoghurt, because I’m going through an obsessed-with-yoghurt phase atm. Accompanied by a wistful scroll through Uber Eats, and followed by the placing of a semi-urgent order of snacking materials from Amazon.

Scores:

• “Seasoned fries”: 3/10 – not as described. Probably 8/10 if they’d just called them oven chips, and if they’d at least offered some salt and vinegar.
• Courgette soup: 8/10 – again, nice soup, as long as you like that particular creamy curry flavour.
• Sandwiches: 7/10 – clearly 10/10 for the cheese and pickle one, but the rest were only just above average.
• Overall: 6/10

So that was Monday in the crazy world of food reviewing without moving much beyond arm’s reach of my bed. Which I think I will retreat to very soon, to listen to the steady dripping of the rain, and dream of perfect cheese and pickle sandwiches.

1. Many were related to trying to get mum home, but not all. It’s just been one of those days when people want to talk to me, regardless of whether I want to talk to them. ↩︎